MA Features: Confessions of a Designer Handbag Junkie

As you are likely aware, I am a designer handbag fanatic.  I have been advised by family and friends that this could be developing into a problem, but I am confident that I have it under control.  Sure, I have bounced my rent check to purchase a new purse.  Who hasn’t?  There have been times when I have skipped out on my utility bills, so I would have enough cash to buy a new handbag.  Who wouldn’t?

I have spent countless nights dreaming about shopping for the latest fashionable designs.  So what if I want to have Kenneth Cole’s babies.  I really don’t see the problem here.  To make my mother happy, I have made the following pledge (ever-so-loosely based on the “twelve step” program):

My name is Cathy, and I am addicted to designer handbags and high fashion.  I admit that I am powerless over Prada, and that my life has become unmanageable in certain respects.  I have faith that a power greater than Dior can restore my sanity.  I have made a pledge to turn my will and my life over to the power of the House of Gucci.  I have made a searching and fearless inventory of every handbag on

I have made an admission to Chloe, myself, and my friend Sara regarding the exact nature of my wrongs.  I am ready for Melie Bianco to remove all these defects of character, and I humbly implore her to remove my shortcomings.  I have made a list of all the handbag designers I have harmed with my caustic language, and I am ready and willing to make amends to them all.  I have gladly continued to take personal inventory of all my designer purses, and when I was wrong it was promptly admitted.

I have sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with Vivienne Westwood as I understand her, praying only for knowledge of her will for me and the power to carry that out.  After having this spiritual awakening, I have tried to carry this message other handbag junkies.  I have tried to apply these principles in all my erm…..affairs.

My name is Cathy, and I am addicted to designer handbags and high fashion.

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